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You, and everyone you know are going to die. In your short life, you only have a certain amount of fucks to give. The key to enjoying your life is to only give a fuck only about the things that are personally valuable.
Finding and investing in something important in your life is the only productive use of your time and energy. Every life has its problems so finding meaning lets you to sustain the effort needed to overcome them.
Conventional advice that tells you to visualize the type of person you want to be only reinforces the idea that you are not that thing. Whereas accepting your life as uniquely wonderful is the single greatest thing you can do for your happiness. Everyone wants you to believe that the secret to a good life is a better car, longer swoops or a more beautiful girlfriend. The key to a fantastic life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less – only caring about what is true, immediate and important to you.
We are no longer facing a material crisis. We have an overdose of resources: incredible gadgets, designer clothes, cosmetic surgery, bling we don’t need. The problem we face is spiritual; we have so many opportunities and things, we don’t know what to give a fuck about any more.
Because the possibilities of things we can now do, see or know are endless, there are also an infinite number of ways we don’t measure up; we’re not as great as we could be. This is a real problem because you can only really be superb in one thing and you’re likely to be below average in nearly everything else. Comparison is a very dangerous game.
Everything worthwhile is won through overcoming the associated problems to achieve it. If you want to be a World Champion badly enough, you don’t care what it takes. Your dream is the fire in your belly to overcome all obstacles – to enjoy the struggle because without it, the prize would be nothing. When you don’t give a fuck about the pain your goals require, you become unstoppable.
Not giving a fuck at competition doesn't mean you don't care about the result. It means you are free from performance anxiety, so can fly at your best, without worrying about what people will think of the outcome.
There is no reason to not go for what you truly want in life. What do you have to lose? You’re going to die anyway, so your fears, embarrassments and failures don’t mean anything. You might as well try. Fuck it!
The moments when we don’t give a fuck and take action are often the moments that most define the course of our lives. ‘Not giving a fuck’ is not about being indifferent. It just means you’re comfortable with being different. Don’t say ‘fuck it’ to everything in life, just to the things that don’t matter to you.
People who worry about what others think are actually scared of the negative things they think about themselves being reflected back at them. When you don’t give a fuck about what people think, paradoxically, that’s when they start to like you. Because you’re being yourself, not playing a part.
Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a fuck about. The key is to realize the things you most care about, so that you only give a fuck on the most important of occasions.
Article inspired by “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark manson
Dan BC recounts the story of the 1995 and 1997 World Championships. Mistakes caused them to feel 'calm, determined and a little bit pissed off'… Effectively 'not giving a fuck' translated to zero performance anxiety and led to success…