{"id":16430,"date":"2014-01-13T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-01-13T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/skydivemag.com\/new\/?p=16430"},"modified":"2014-01-13T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-01-13T00:00:00","slug":"2014-01-13-girlfriend-troubles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/2014-01-13-girlfriend-troubles\/","title":{"rendered":"Girlfriend Troubles"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Hayabusa\"<\/p>\n

HELP! \u2013 Our teammate\u2019s girlfriend thinks she\u2019s the coach!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Okay Roy, here\u2019s the deal… We have a new team member joined this year, he\u2019s working out brilliant\u2026 but his girlfriend isn\u2019t! Firstly I noticed her influence when we were making decisions about where to go for our two overseas training camps. I didn\u2019t see the relevance to our plans of access to the beach, or the type of accommodation but it\u2019s now dawned on me that actually we\u2019re going to the place that\u2019s nicest for her whuffo holiday rather than the best for our training.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Anyway I could have lived with that if she would disappear to the beach. She does occasionally but most days she acts as though she\u2019s part of the team. She comes to the debriefs, then watches our next dirtdives and follows us around like she\u2019s a team member with an injury. Sometimes she makes suggestions and has even been known to disagree with the coach! (‘I think the swing move is better’.. go figure!)<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Then she will come to rock meetings, team planning sessions etc. It started off seeming helpful as she would take notes and write things up \u2013 but now I feel like they are both on the team. In fact, it feels like she thinks she\u2019s some kind of team manager.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Hayabusa\"<\/p>\n

I tried to talk to our new team member about this but it was very hard to get him away from her! He said she\u2019s always been like this (it\u2019s his fourth team). He said his other teams have liked it because she\u2019s good at organizing, making decisions and arranging food. Of course there are advantages, like when she meets us with beer on the last load, or organizes a birthday present for the coach. But overall I wish she\u2019d just do her own thing and leave us alone.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Love him \u2013 hate his girlfriend!<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Any ideas? Thanks, all the best,<\/em>
\nNigel<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Hayabusa\"<\/p>\n

Hi Nigel,<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It sounds a bit like a \u2018soap series\u2019!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I understand your frustration and I believe the solution can be very easy. To solve this problem I suggest you to do the following:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t have to be a problem if there is an extra person involved, just make things clear and simple, and keep the communication open<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

Sit together with the team but WITHOUT her, and everyone should give his opinion about it. Share your thoughts in which way you see her involvement inside the team, if any. When the majority doesn\u2019t want her around, or involved in the team business, then everyone must respect this. What she has done in the past with other teams doesn\u2019t matter, that is history. You guys chose him as your new team member and not her, unless his condition to join this team was that she has to be involved with certain kind of things. She cannot claim any position inside the team if the team is not in favor. In case she has to step back, it will take just a bit of balls from him to make her clear that from now on, this is the way it will go \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s say that she can fulfil some role inside the team, even if it is something simple like bringing beer at the end of the day or paying the packers, taking care of manifest, which can be a great help. Just make clear agreements what she can do and what not to do. For example, I cannot imagine that anyone wants her to tell your coach his business, or that she tells you where to go to for a training camp. It is important that the team spirit stays as good as possible for obvious reasons.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I think that when both parties know exactly what her role is inside the team, and everyone respects this, the problem should be solved. Generally speaking, it doesn\u2019t have to be a problem if there is an ‘extra’ person involved, if you just make things clear and simple, and keep the communication open.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Enjoy your training!
\nRoy<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

4-way PROBLEM Page \u2013 Ask Roy<\/strong>
\nAsk your burning 4-way question in the Comments box below
\nfor Roy Janssen<\/a> to answer<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

HELP! \u2013 Our teammate\u2019s girlfriend thinks she\u2019s the coach! Okay Roy, here\u2019s the deal… We have a new team member joined this year, he\u2019s working out brilliant\u2026 but his girlfriend isn\u2019t! Firstly I noticed her influence when we were making decisions about where to go for our two overseas training camps. I didn\u2019t see the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"pmpro_default_level":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGirlfriend Troubles - Skydivemag<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/2014-01-13-girlfriend-troubles\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Girlfriend Troubles\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"HELP! \u2013 Our teammate\u2019s girlfriend thinks she\u2019s the coach! 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She is a multiple world and national record holder and a coach on 20 successful record events worldwide. She has over 100 competition medals spanning more than 25 years and has been on the British 8-way National team at World events. She started Skydive Mag to spread knowledge, information and passion about our amazing sport. Lesley is delighted to be sponsored by Performance Designs, Sun Path, Cypres, Cookie, Symbiosis suits and Larsen & Brusgaard","sameAs":["http:\/\/skydivemag.com\/new","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lesley.gale.942","https:\/\/x.com\/skydivemag"],"url":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/author\/lesley\/"}]}},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"homepage-slider":false,"single-post-picker":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Lesley Gale","author_link":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/author\/lesley\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"HELP! \u2013 Our teammate\u2019s girlfriend thinks she\u2019s the coach! Okay Roy, here\u2019s the deal… We have a new team member joined this year, he\u2019s working out brilliant\u2026 but his girlfriend isn\u2019t! Firstly I noticed her influence when we were making decisions about where to go for our two overseas training camps. I didn\u2019t see the…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16430","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16430"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16430\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}