{"id":17050,"date":"2015-10-12T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-10-12T23:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/skydivemag.com\/new\/?p=17050"},"modified":"2015-10-12T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-10-12T23:00:00","slug":"2015-10-13-surviving-death-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/2015-10-13-surviving-death-online\/","title":{"rendered":"Surviving Death Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

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#How to help your mates when the shit hits the fan<\/p>\n

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In both my personal and professional life, never did I imagine I\u2019d be writing an article like this for a magazine. But I feel very strongly that something has to be said; even if only to stimulate people\u2019s thinking and chats over a beer. <\/p>\n

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For context, I am a skydiver and I am Michael Vaughan\u2019s widow. In the non-skydiving part of my world, I\u2019ve spent the last fifteen years working with businesses and helping managers to communicate with their staff, customers, and each other. It\u2019s a passion for me, helping people to communicate with each other in a constructive way. One that will help them achieve what they want, and cope with change in their environments. Sometimes my work has included advising and handling, \u2018crisis communications\u2019; for example, how to handle communications should a fatality take place at an oil manufacturing plant.<\/p>\n

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##Tragedy<\/p>\n

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Most of you will know that a few months ago, the shit really hit the fan for me and Stu Gough (Alannah Clarke\u2019s partner) when Alannah and Michael were both killed in a tragic accident<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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I\u2019m very aware of how far-reaching and deeply Michael\u2019s death impacted people from the many hundreds of messages I\u2019ve received. He was a special one. When a tragedy happens in our skydiving community, it\u2019s raw, confronting, and horrid. But the reality is, the world keeps turning, and after a little while, life goes on. The tandems turn up at the drop zone, the fun jumpers get on another load, the tunnel keeps whirring away, and the police and APF<\/a> cogs turn to work through the incident. The dust settles.<\/p>\n

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Since the accident I\u2019ve been thinking a lot, observing, talking, listening, digesting, reading and of course, crying (obviously). There are many things that we can learn from this recent tragedy in Australia. One aspect that I\u2019m feeling more passionate about than ever is: how we communicate with each other in the immediate aftermath of an incident. <\/p>\n

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##Crisis communication<\/p>\n

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When an accident happens, in skydiving or otherwise, communicating the right information to the right people becomes a time-critical, life-or-death task. In the case of Michael and Alannah\u2019s accident, this was a task that a number of people bravely took on. Most were volunteers, stepping forward from their beautiful day of canopy flight to handle the situation unfolding in front of them. <\/p>\n

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The access to information that we all have today through our various mobile devices and the Internet is unprecedented; in both its immediacy and its power. In particular, social media platforms provide not just a source for us to obtain information but to broadcast it too, whether intentionally or unintentionally. And its reach is truly global.<\/p>\n

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I know that I would like to do my absolute personal best to prevent anyone from enduring any more distress or pain than they are already experiencing, if they were to be me in a future scenario<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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##Handling Media Correctly<\/p>\n

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The APF have done a great job of teaching our instructors how to handle an incident and the media. So how about the rest of us? It\u2019s in this area that Stu and I would like to most (most, most, most!) humbly provide insight into our recent experiences, in the hope that we can all learn something. So, I\u2019m talking about:<\/p>\n

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    \n
  1. What can we all learn from the way we all communicated with each other after this particular incident? <\/li>\n
  2. What could we do better next time, should any of us be thrust into this situation again?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    I know that I would like to do my absolute personal best to prevent anyone from enduring any more distress or pain than they are already experiencing, if they were to be me in a future scenario. So although this is a potentially emotive topic, I hope that you will all accept my words in the spirit in which they are offered\u2026 to share and learn \u2013 certainly not for any egotistical need to induce further sympathy or pity from anyone. Heaven knows, so many of you have already expressed and shown me so much love these last three months.<\/p>\n


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    #Typical Reactions<\/p>\n

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    Let\u2019s look at a few typical reactions that we might have after an incident\u2026 \u2018Something\u2019 has happened and you think a friend of yours is injured. Things you might choose to do could be:
    \n1. Posting statements or questions on your friend\u2019s Facebook page.
    \n2. Posting statements or questions on your friend\u2019s partner\u2019s Facebook page or sending them messages, texts etc.
    \n3. Sharing information, which you have seen\/heard\/obtained from people at the scene of the accident with others via texts, Facebook, messenger services, Whatsapp, etc. <\/p>\n

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    Will these actions help or hinder?<\/strong><\/p>\n

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    #Stop and Think<\/p>\n

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    Here\u2019s a view from inside the storm and some questions to consider:<\/p>\n

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    Reaction 1: Posting statements or questions on your friend\u2019s Facebook page<\/h3>\n

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    Question: When a friend\/loved one is a skydiver and is involved in a serious accident, will they be checking\/answering\/looking at Facebook?<\/em><\/p>\n

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    Let\u2019s be honest, probably not. If they have the capacity to do anything, they will be trying to get a message to their nearest and dearest that they are ok, through whatever channels they normally use.<\/p>\n

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    So, if we post something on their Facebook page, such as: \u201cOh no it can\u2019t be true!\u201d \u201cAre you ok mate?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d \u2026 we are pretty much walking into the living room of their mum\/dad\/aunt\/spouse\/best friend\/cousin\/anyone who knows them, plus the media, with an enormous blinking neon sign and a loud hailer<\/em> saying, \u201cYour son\/husband\/nephew\/friend might have been really badly injured, even dead, but I don\u2019t know anything about it, or have any other information for you about when, how, or where they might be.\u201d<\/p>\n

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    The potential lesson here?<\/strong>
    \nThis action doesn\u2019t help anyone. In fact, in the case of Michael\u2019s accident, it hurt a lot of people whom he loved. It created panic and a spread of misinformation. It also fed information to the media.<\/p>\n

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    ###Reaction 2: Posting statements or questions on your friend\u2019s partner\u2019s Facebook page or sending them messages, texts, etc<\/p>\n

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    Question: When your friend\u2019s loved one is a skydiver and is involved in a serious accident, will your friend be checking\/answering\/looking at Facebook?<\/em><\/p>\n

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    From our experience, they are not going to be looking at Facebook. Stu shared with me that for the first 24 hours, from his side, he was busy managing the accident site, handing over Chief Instructor duties, speaking to Alannah\u2019s and his own family, dealing with police and trying to avoid intrusive media people. Not once in that first 24 hours did he check Facebook or voice messages on his phone.<\/p>\n

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    Your friend\u2019s partner \u2013 if they know anything yet \u2013 is in a highly stressful situation and needs to be able to use their phone to establish contact with emergency services, immediate family, make travel arrangements, etc. Don\u2019t expect them to respond to you unless you are a very close mate. If they do respond, you\u2019ll know they need you. <\/p>\n

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    The consequences of contacting this person in a publicly visible forum like Facebook are exactly the same as the first example, above. But now you\u2019ve entered another family\/friend circle with that loud hailer and neon sign. <\/p>\n

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    The potential lesson here?<\/strong>
    \nThis activity doesn\u2019t help. In the case of Michael\u2019s accident, I\u2019m willing to share with you all that it caused me and my immediate family and friends a lot of distress. <\/p>\n

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    ##Reaction 3: Sharing information that you have seen\/heard\/obtained from people at the scene of the accident, via any communication channel<\/p>\n

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    This one\u2019s the kicker, everyone\u2026 Passing on information from an incident when you are not performing a role in the incident<\/em> is extremely dangerous as it becomes uncontrolled.<\/p>\n

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    Question: Why do you need to share this information? Are you authorised to share this information? Is the information already public knowledge or not?<\/em> <\/p>\n

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    Here are a few examples of how damaging this action can be: <\/p>\n