{"id":41793,"date":"2022-07-07T09:32:08","date_gmt":"2022-07-07T09:32:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/?p=41793"},"modified":"2023-03-01T19:06:10","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T19:06:10","slug":"flying-apologetically-for-the-ladies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.skydivemag.com\/new\/flying-apologetically-for-the-ladies\/","title":{"rendered":"Flying Apologetically: For the Ladies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My dear, sweet sisters in skydiving. I\u2019ve got a few things to share with you, and I hope you\u2019ll take this the right way…<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Author Alethia Austin, freefly coach, has something to get off her chest<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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Please stop flying like you\u2019re apologizing. Please put down the Ps & Qs and the learned behavior of fading into the background. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Show up. Be here and be here with strength.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n


What I\u2019ve learned over these years of coaching and running skydiving events is that we can glean a lot from flying with and learning from other women in the sport.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s so much to gain in your experience about learning body awareness, mental approach, body position, technique, and canopy flying when you\u2019re learning from another female. So, sisters, if any of this resonates with you, perhaps it\u2019s time to seek out some of the female coaches out there and learn some of the ways in which you can grow as a complete skydiver.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“We can glean a lot from flying with and learning from other women”<\/strong>
<\/em>Photo: The Project 19 team by Ewan Cowie<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n


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Our Brothers Are Amazing, But There Is A Palpable Difference Here<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tons of gratitude for the men before us and currently leading our sport for blazing the way in nearly everything about our sport from the gear we trust and fly, to disciplines of flying, to dropzone builds and piloting, to safety. Those men in the sport have led the path in so many ways. And for that, we can be so proud and grateful.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there are palpable differences in the way we show up to a skydive as a woman in this sport. In a skills camp with a mixed group of flyers, in my morning brief when I ask what everyone can fly and what they\u2019re working on, the females nearly always will underrate their flying skills, while the men will oftentimes be accurate, if not a little bit overrated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the sky, I\u2019ll see the women linger in the outside spaces of a line, tip-toeing their way from exit to the ground. While the men will be racing to the line, getting inside like their lives depended on it, and showing up on the ground confident and knowing they smashed it (even if maybe they didn\u2019t). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the way the men coach is generally reflective of that natural male instinct of being the alpha. Which we could definitely learn a lot from. Sometimes, however, it means that the softer, more submissive females retreat to the background, don\u2019t glean as much out of the day, and continue to linger in the space outside of the jump because they haven’t fully stepped into that masculine side of their personality or their flying. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Inka Tiitto and Alethia Austin flying
Photo by Daniel Angulo<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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Self Talk Can Steal Your Day <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Too many times a female student of mine suffers from an undisciplined, overactive mind. She didn\u2019t set the right expectations for her day, because well, immediate perfection is definitely not attainable for most of us when we\u2019re learning something new. She also doesn\u2019t deal with the feeling of sucking as well as she could if she\u2019d just allow herself the time to be in the somewhat uncomfortable learning stages of flying. So, when expectations are unrealistic and there\u2019s no space to allow for imperfections while truly learning something new, I\u2019ll see a woman go from showing up excited to fly to wearing a heavy coat of disappointment and shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Listen, ladies, you are showing up on training jumps, coaching days and events looking to expand your flying skills. That in itself should be an exciting embrace of showing your \u201cfailures\u201d and errors in order to learn where you can improve your flying. It\u2019s hard to coach a perfect flyer, so the more you show up with some rough spots, the more we can work to shine those parts up together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So you had a shitty jump? Yeah, it happens. That is precisely what you do when you\u2019re learning and building on something new. Suck it up and move on. The next jump awaits and if you\u2019re not exiting that door with a fire inside of you to feeling your body, feel the wind, do better on this jump than the last, well, you\u2019re missing out on some true power. Use those upsets and those \u201cfailures\u201d to your advantage, don\u2019t wear them and collapse under their weight. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use those upsets and those failures to your advantage, don\u2019t wear them and collapse under their weight<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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Women learning from other women
Image from the Mexican Ladies Record 2022, by Norman Kent Productions<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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You Don\u2019t Need Permission To Fly<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

So often I\u2019m leading a jump and my arm is getting tired from waving over the woman who has been flying the whole skydive with me, but just 5 slots away. I have to tell my students time and time again to join me in their slot. That flying the whole skydive 5 slots away shows me they can fly on the inside, but they choose not to. It\u2019s a mindset. It\u2019s as if I have to personally invite my students to fly right next to me, even if it\u2019s scary. Even if they might have an awkward line, even if they\u2019re flying noisy. I rarely get this with my male students. They\u2019re working the whole skydive to be as close as possible to the leader. They\u2019re not waiting for an invitation, and often times if another isn\u2019t in their slot, they\u2019ll take that slot to be closer to the leader. Vs my female students, flying coy, waiting for permission to fly better, and waiting for me to personally invite them in, tell them they\u2019re great, tell them they can do it, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Ladies, you have the permission. You paid the same jump slot price as the next guy. You\u2019re paying the same coaching as anyone else. Fly like you know this and fly like you mean it. Are you going to make some mistakes? Yes, yes you are sister. That\u2019s what we do. We\u2019re humans and we aren\u2019t perfect. Be safe as F, but fly like you deserve to be on the inside, not a spectator.

Which leads me to: find your fire!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Find Your Fire!
Photo: Melissa Nelson-Lowe by Kayd Miller Photography<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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Find Your Fire <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I get to participate in 1-2 events a year due to coaching and running events full time, in addition to my many days throughout the year of hard core, ugly training days.  So, when I show up as a paid participant, I get to practice what I preach in the words here. I put away the pressure to be perfect that I put on myself, since I\u2019m a paid skydiving coach and the self-imposed idea that I can\u2019t show up and expose the areas I\u2019m working on in my own personal goals. I put those unrealistic expectations away and commit to the suck. I show up for the jumps in the morning after creating some time to get into the mindset I need in order to fly like I mean it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I throw on my headphones, put on the music that absolutely helps ignite my fire, I share my smile and poise with those in my group, but with that music in my headphones, as I quietly look around the DZ at my competitors in my group, I think to myself \u201cI\u2019m going to fly faster, stronger and closer to you all day.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I keep my female softness & politeness on the outside, but on the inside I\u2019m staring at my male & female competitors, building the competitive heat I want and need to be able to be the strongest flyer in my group. Spoiler alert: My ego is okay with admitting that I\u2019m not always the strongest flyer in the group. But, I definitely show up flying UNapologetically, on the inside and without any invitation whatsoever. That\u2019s the power: I enter the skydive with fire ready to battle and ready to learn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I enter the skydive with fire<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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Hannah Parker coaching
Photo by Ewan Cowie<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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I know there are many more male coaches out there than there are females, but that doesn\u2019t mean that there aren\u2019t plenty of females out there. There are a plethora of women around the world leading great skydives at dropzones and in the tunnel. That you don\u2019t know their names, well my sweet sister, that\u2019s on you. Do yourself a favor and get to know the women leading those jumps. Get to know the women who are in our beloved sport who have something to share with you. Go fly with a female coach, feel that sisterhood. Feel the feeling of really being understood by a similar body type and someone who probably has a pretty good understanding of what it\u2019s like to learn as a female.
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Don\u2019t leave out our male counterparts and all of their value, but do yourself a favor and go fly and learn from some females to balance it out.

And if you need some recommendations on some of the women shredding in our sport, give me a shout. There are far too many to list, and many I won\u2019t even know of.

Hope to see you all around. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Love and connection, my sisters. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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“Love and connection my sisters”<\/em><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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