Heaven or HELL?
Dear Roy
We have someone on our team who can be great but can also be hard work. On a good day, he really brings a sparkle to the day’s training, as he’s funny, entertaining and puts in a lot of energy. The flipside is that he can be very defensive, is easily upset and can go into a sulk. If the coach or a team member suggests a way to improve his flying, he can ‘get the hump’ and takes criticism badly, even when it’s constructive. Then the mood goes downhill as his sulky face comes out.
We’ve tried ignoring it and we’ve tried to jolly him out of it. Sometimes that works but then we’re pandering to bad behavior and I feel that the uncomplaining team members deserve my energy more. He is the weakest member of the team and the main reason is this defensive attitude, because he can’t take criticism. We love him when he’s on form but hate it when he gets a monk on. Please help!
Yours tiredly
Norma
Hello Norma
I completely understand your situation and it takes some time and effort from everyone to solve it. I believe that the behavior you describe has mainly to do with the personality of the individual. The most difficult thing is to show and convince this person of his behavior and the effects it has towards the team spirit. If we are stubborn and we’re not open-minded to improve ourselves, or we feel attack any time when we get a personal comment, we will never achieve our full potential.
a team is the same as being in a relationship, the better the communication is, the better you will be able to overcome obstacles and to keep improving
In general, skydivers are not the easiest people around and you find a lot of individual characters out there. But it’s all about how hard everyone wants to work on their own weaknesses, and to stay together as a team. We have all different personalities with strong and weak points, but we need to find a good balance where everyone can be happy with inside the team. In case the team cannot find a good solution despite all their efforts, or if one person cannot or doesn’t want to come in the middle, it is better to find another teammate that does fit into the team dynamics. We never can have it just ‘our way’ in a team and we must learn to accept (constructional) comment, if not, we never become better skydivers and teammates.
Everyone of the team needs to understand that this is a TEAM sport. What I suggest is to have an open team meeting with him and tell him what you guys think of the situation. Of course you need to let him know what the problem points are and where the team believes he needs to improve, but also listen to his reasons, needs and concerns. During this ‘Rock session’ it is important that everyone of the team speaks his mind, even if you don’t agree with each other. Being inside a team is basically the same thing as being in a relationship, the better the communication is, the better you will be able to overcome obstacles and to keep improving. The sooner you can solve it, the better. It is not easy to try to talk with a ‘touchy’ person that goes easily in defense mode whenever it is about him or her, but at least you need to try it.
Nothing is more satisfying than to be on the podium with FRIENDS!
I believe that having FUN is one of the key ingredients to have a team future, especially when you are paying for your own jumps and sacrifice many things. This doesn’t mean that having ‘fun’ is just fooling around. For many teams I know, having fun is training hard and seriously but in a good team atmosphere. Good vibes will keep you going and keeps you motivated. Nothing is more satisfying than to be on the podium with FRIENDS!
Good luck with your team meeting!
Roy
